The Pain of Not Telling Your Pain
One step most won't take is to tell their messed up story. That one story (or many) that is being held on to in secret. In shame. Maybe you lived a hard childhood and no one outside of who was involved knows.
When we keep stories like this bottled up inside scared to share because people will xyz…. they end up building on top of one another and weighing us down. These stories will drive your life. Ever notice you keep hitting the same pattern over and over again just with a different person? Or your luck was up and suddenly the rug gets ripped out from under you feet and you are back to square one?
Yeah.
Back to the first sentence. Most won’t tell their messed up story. It's a first step. It’s a courageous first step. It’s you saying this will no longer be held over my held. Or really over my heart. No one can argue your story. The story is yours and yours alone.
I explained the pain of not telling your story but when I first started telling my stories I didn’t know it would lead me into a completely different way of living.
When I started my studies, one of the first questions my teacher said to do was to turn to someone next to us, and tell a story where our life took a 90 degree turn. Had to be under 10ish
A good prompt to work with. This was the first time I shared my story of when I was 9 and I moved to CT from AZ.
Journaling this story won’t have the same effect because when you have a witness you have to construct it as a story. There’s no arguing with yourself or making peace. It really is just starting from the beginning and going to the end. Then saying thank you to the person listening. Done.
I cried, man did I cry. The release I felt after this was life changing.
And that is the gift of releasing these locked up stories. The more you speak them the less power they have over you.
The first time you tell your story I might be long, full of details. This is important. Overtime a story is short and sweet. Because you have worked it, all angles. Paid attention to who was the victim, abuser, and the environment it happened in.
Here is mine from my domistic violence relationship. I shared today in my class.
I was beaten. Sometimes I didn’t fight back because I didn’t want to die.
That’s it. I joked in my post today on social media asking folks if they remembered my insta where I only shared stories from that time. Long tales. Day by day stories. That was the first time I shared. I had to create a whole new insta with many posts. haha
It doesn't have to look like that but hey… I went from that to 2 sentences to describe that story. With no emotional ties. Yes that happened. But it no longer has power over me.
Thank you and goodbye.
If you are looking to off load and get your shameful stories off your chest here’s the how to. This story needs to have a witness. Getting on reddit with a fake profile. Finding a community that knows how to hold space. A friend with clear intentions in the beginning that you just want them to listen.
Every single time this is done, life opens up in ways that you can’t even imagine. This will become a loop for you. You will start to recognize how powerful it is to let the shame and secrets go. The layers start to shed back.
Maybe you don’t even know that story is holding you back. Which ever story came to mind when you started to read this. Start with that one.
I created a space where you can share anonymously. Where you can write it out as long as you want. Get that off your chest. There is no way of knowing who it came from as it’s just a box to type it out and send to me as your witness.
If you are looking for further guidance- reply to this email.
XO Krystal
