A Mother’s Path of Initiation
There’s a moment when the work you’ve lived, the work you’ve breathed, cried through, and let undo you- begins to rise from the inside not as something to study, but as something you’re ready to live out loud. I’m in that moment now.
I’ve walked the path of Peruvian Shamanism- where transformation is mystical, cellular, and unspoken. The mesa opened me. The rituals rewired me. The change moved through my body in ways I couldn’t name. But I felt it.
It wasn’t until I began learning the teachings of The Fourth Way that I found the language for it all. The worlds to describe what was happening inside of me. In the kitchen. In my breath. While parenting. While watching myself get triggered and choosing to return again and again.
Last night, I pulled out my old Vedic astrology charts- the ones I’ve had for 10 years. But this time, I looked at them with new eyes.
My ability to read energy and see patterns has sharpened.
What I saw was my husband and I are mirrors. The house where my Moon shines- where my special talent lives is where his Saturn sits, holding this karmic obstacle. And where his Moon and talents glow, I have Saturn.
I feel that in our everyday life. In how we grow each other. In how we press on each other’s wounds and illuminate each other’s gifts. Funny note here is his nickname for me when we first met was Moxie. When we first met, I was incredibly quiet. I was not outspoken. I was not bold. But because I wasn’t, he knew there was fire inside me anyway. He saw something I hadn’t quite owned yet.
As I was thinking back on our early years, my daughter walked in. She wanted to see her chart. One thing I looked at was her Moon. And I saw that it was placed in a certain spot that showed her emotions, her needs, her core essence- were tied to me. Tied to the motherline.
It brought me back to my first spiritual awakening. Her very existence cracked open the part of me that could no longer stay asleep to the world.
And in this moment, staring at her chart, I realized how far I’ve come.
What I’ve broken.
What I’ve reclaimed.
What I’ve become.
We are counting down the days for her to turn 13. I’m feeling a deepening of what I set out to do all those years ago as a mother. In those early days I very much knew that I was in this for the long haul. I would face myself when she mirrored parts of myself back. I would listen when it hurt. I would soften when everything in me wanted to control. I would reparent the parts of me that wanted to run. I would stay.
And I have.
Not perfectly. But with devotion.
She has grown, and I have grown alongside her. Not ahead of her, not above her- but beside her.
And now, as this new threshold approaches, I can feel the full circle of that first awakening coming back around and continuing to let motherhood be the path that awakens me.
This morning I had a good long cry. What I’m coming across is a reclamation of sorts. It’s like I’m gathering pieces of myself that were always here but buried beneath years of not knowing how to name what I was going through.
I’m reclaiming the mystery of what I went through in my shamanic initiations. I’m reclaiming the clarity and structure The Fourth Way gives me- the way it helps me speak what once only lived inside my bones.
I’m reclaiming my role as a teacher, not because I decided it, but because I feel it rising.
There is a deep reverence now.
For the path.
For the timing.
For the quiet work that has been happening in the background of mothering, of healing, of living.
Things are unfolding quickly now.
And I’m no longer trying to slow it down.
The teacher in me is coming forward.
And I’ve finally found the language for what I’ve been through- through studies, through ceremony, and most powerfully, through the mundane moments of daily life.
If you are being called into initiation as a parent- if your children are waking something ancient inside of you- this may be your path too.
Let daily life crack you open. Let the friction be your fire.
Your awakening might come through holding your child’s tears, or seeing a pattern repeat and choosing to break it. It might come through reading a natal chart and realizing your lineage is being rewritten through your love.
Here’s what I offer if this speaks to you (clickable links):
Family chart sessions + personal chat readings using Destiny Cards & Human Design & Gene Keys
Initiation support- free tools to use on your path in The Resource Room
Short videos that I’ve released over the last few weeks found on my social links below
Sometimes, it’s hard to see clearly what’s useful on this path of awakening.
What’s real. What’s noise. What’s calling. What’s leftover conditioning.
I get that. I’ve been there and sometimes I still am.
That's why I offer what I offer- not to tell you who you are, but to sit beside you as you begin to remember.
I know how powerful it is to follow the breadcrumbs our soul leaves for us.
The quiet nudges. The full-body yeses.
And I know the feeling of finally being seen in the truth of who you are- not who you’re trying to be.
If you’re walking this path and this felt like one of those breadcrumbs- I’m here when you’re ready. And it would be an honor to walk with you.
XO Krystal
